In recent months, while exposing myself to a broad range of musical styles through my friends, I've found myself analyzing my own musical taste by comparison and starting to realize that even though I like select artists from all sorts of genres, there are only a few “types" or moods of music that I tend to gravitate towards. I used to think that I liked “dense" music, in the sense that it involves many disparate parts; but as I learn more about how to produce music, I appreciate how even regular pop music involves a lot more layering of sounds to create the specific textures of even individual snare pops. It's not so much the amount of sounds nor even the intricacy or complexity, but the discordance--the amount of disparity which the music is able to capture while remaining coherent or catchy that seems to get me most. The Weatherday album I posted about earlier today is a perfect example--the riffs which are fully comprehendible seem to drag an ocean of raw noise through them, while the more frenetic guitar bits dissolve into untraceability so quickly that you just have to trust they made sense.
My favorite artists throughout the 2010s were mostly Shinsei Kamattechan and Death Grips, which are about the most boogie of all pop music in the rock and hip-hop genres; and so many of my favorite artists, from Kendrick Lamar and Busdriver to Coheed and Cambria and The Mars Volta, are known for deeply cryptic lyrics which could be interpreted in many ways—such as “meaning nothing.”
In recent years, I have been listening to a lot of radio in the car and reconnecting with the pop music of the last fifty years that I was largely averse to growing up, because I hadn't been able to feel connected to it or the people who seemed to like it. At first I didn't feel like there was a massive gap between the stuff I listen to on my own time versus on the radio, because many of my favorite bands have radio hits, and there are plenty of more fun and immediate sounds I like (especially in the range of nu-metal and upbeat hip-hop that I grew up with), but most of it is with nonsensical or ironic lyrics--stuff like Mindless Self Indulgence, System of a Down, Maximum the Hormone, or the broadly emotional and nonspecific scenarios of Linkin Park songs.
As an adult I've come to better empathize with music that I don't relate to directly; but much more importantly I've been able to understand and place myself in relationship to the music much more intimately since beginning my transition. Up until recently I didn't feel I understood my own intentions in my interactions well enough to imagine myself in a wide variety of scenarios—which contributed massively to my anxiety toward involving myself in any unfamiliar scenarios at all. Now that I have a better sense of who I am supposed to be in relationship to other people, it's much easier for me to realize what songs are “about me" or contextualize my emotional responses to scenarios.
I still like all the music I used to like, but it feels a lot more emotionally limiting now to be stuck with just my own music collection. I am excited and intimidated at the thought of seeking out enough music to fill out my broader emotional palette!
Is the appeal of your favorite music to you about relating to the noise that constant thoughts generate in your head, but given form and a flow without having to necessarily have to have a wider impact beyond the one on the artist themselves?